Odpoved kot prag nove zavesti (3/7) – Učenje iz dogajanja // Cancellation as a Threshold of New Consciousness (3/7) – Learning from living

Kadar vidite cvet in ga doživljate popolnoma, celovito, z vsakim vlaknom svojega bitja, takrat ne delujete iz spomina na nek drug dogodek, v katerem ste doživljali cvet, mar ne. V popolnem doživljanju ni spomina na preteklost, doživljanje za seboj ne pušča sledi. Vsakokrat znova doživite cvet na novo… saj ste vi vendar drugačni, cvet je drug in diši drugače, prostor je spremenjen in situaciji vladajo novi pogoji.

Te novitete v doživljanju ni mogoče doživeti, kadar izhajamo iz občutka zadovoljstva in želimo prijetno občutje ponoviti. Vsak občutek, ki pušča spominsko sled in hotenje po ponovitvah, um otopi. Iz čistega doživljalca dogajanja postane lovec na prijetne občutke in upornik proti vsemu, kar mu to preprečuje.

‘Koliko je stvari, ki jih ni’, je nekoč rekel Nekdo, ki me je dregal iz moje misli. Ko sem začela negovati notranjo tišino, sem začela tudi sama opažati, kako prepredena sem z izmisleki, naučenostmi, ki me ne dovolijo potopitve v dogajanje in videnja tega, kar je. Ko pa mi je enkrat to vendarle uspelo, se tega nisem zavedala, dokler nisem padla iz ‘tega toka’ nazaj v ‘jaz mislim’.

Zelo bi se morala namučiti, da bi opisala, kako je biti v dogajanju, ker ne vem, kako to naredim. Najbližje pridem z že velikokrat omenjenim nepočetjem, v katerem ničesar ne naredim. Ne sledim nobeni metodi, filozofiji ali prepričanju. Ne mislim, kaj bi morala. Pozabim, česa ne smem. Ne iščem, ne trudim se, ne upam, ne bojim se, ne želim…, ničesar ni, kar bi morala biti, kar bi morala početi, kar bi morala postati.

‘Postanite kot otroci in vaše bo nebeško kraljestvo’, je rekel Jezus. Kaj ni čist um danost vsakemu novorojencu, ko sveta še nima ubesedenega, ko še nima svojega prav in še vidi svet neposredno?

Vsak ima bivanjski spomin na ‘videnje’. Ni drugega načina do videnja kot je nedelanje samega sebe t.j. neuresničevanja svojega mislim.

Kako neopisljivo lepo je biti celovit z dogajanjem, prisoten v moči, neustrašen v vsakem izzivu, gibek v vsako smer brez obeta po določenem izidu, brez izsiljevanja in brez upora. Ko bi ga enkrat doživeli, bi bili omamljeni od te lepote. V tistem trenutku bi bili preobraženi t.j. izničeni v zlaganem.

Kdor je že doživel trenutek notranje tišine ve, da je strah ob vstopu v neznano prisoten. Povsem naravno se vzdigne v majhnem umu ob stiku z nepojmljivostjo. Vprašamo se: ‘Kdo je tu glavni? Kdo odloča o tem, kaj se godi?’ Vrata v videnje se odpro, ko svoj um (verbalni sistem) naprežemo do točke, v kateri nima več vprašanj. Tisti, ki ve, ne more biti objekt svojega znanja, objekt svojega raziskovanja. Vsak, ki se še sprašuje kdo sem, kdo si, kaj je življenje…, kdor še išče veliko izkušnjo, vizijo boga, osvoboditev… kdor torej še misli (da že JE ali da še NI karkoli), mu dejstvo ubesedovanja prepreči doživljanje. Za to, kdo si, kdo je Življenje… ni besed! Utihnite, nehajte komentirati dogajanje, nehajte razkazovati svojo zablodo… in odprlo se vam bo.

Sledi //Follows:

Odpoved kot prag nove zavesti (4/7) – Preobrazba identitete // Failure as a Threshold of New Consciousness (4/7) – Transformation of Identity

 


Cancellation as a Threshold of New Consciousness (3/7) – Learning from living


When you see a flower and experience it completely, holistically, with every fiber of your being, then you are not acting from the memory of some other event in which you experienced the flower, are you not. In a perfect experience there is no memory of the past, the experience leaves no trace behind. Every time you experience a flower anew… because you are different, the flower is different and smells different, the environment has changed and the situation is governed by new conditions.

This novelty in experience cannot be experienced when we start from a feeling of satisfaction and want to repeat the pleasant feeling. Every feeling that leaves a memory trail and the desire for repetitions dulls the mind. From a pure experiencer of events, he becomes a hunter of pleasant feelings and a rebel against everything that prevents him from doing so.

‘How many things aren’t there,’ Someone once said, shaking me out of my mind. As I began to cultivate inner silence, I also began to notice for myself how intertwined I am with inventions, teachings that do not allow me to immerse myself in what is going on and see what it is. But once I managed that, I didn’t realize it until I fell from ‘this stream’ back to ‘I thinking’.

I would have to work very hard to describe what it’s like to be in the flow of life, because I don’t know how to do it. I come closest to the oft-mentioned inaction in which I do nothing. I do not follow any method, philosophy or belief. I don’t think whatI should. I forget what I can’t. I’m not looking for, I’m not trying, I’m not hoping, I’m not afraid, I don’t want anything…, there’s nothing that I should be, that I should be doing, that I should be-coming.

‘Be like children and yours will be the kingdom of heaven,’ Jesus said. Isn’t a pure mind a devine gift to every newborn… when the world has not yet been articulated, when it has not yet enthroned its ‘truth’ and still sees the world directly?

Everyone has a living memory of ‘seeing’. There is no other way to see, than by non-doing oneself, by not bringing the content of his own mind to light. How indescribably beautiful it is to be whole with what is going on, present in power, fearless in every challenge, flexible in every direction with no prospect of a certain outcome, without blackmail and without resistance. Once we experienced it, we would be stunned by this beauty. At that point, we would be transformed, annihilated in the lie.

Anyone who has already experienced a moment of inner silence knows, that fear is present when entering the unknown. It rises quite naturally in the small mind upon contact with the inconceivable. We ask ourselves, ‘Who is in charge here? Who decides what happens?’ The door to seeing opens when we strain our mind (verbal system) to the point where it has no more questions. He who knows cannot be the object of his knowledge, the object of his research. Anyone who is still wondering who I am, who you are, what life is…, who is still looking for a great experience, a vision of God, liberation… whoever still thinks (that he already IS or is NOT anything), the fact of wording prevent experiencing. There are no words for who you are, who Life is…! Shut up, stop commenting on what’s going on, stop showing your delusio … and it will open up to you.

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