8 Drobtinice iz gozdnega odmika – Post od sebe // Fast from yourself

Jasnost, ki se je začela zalezovati vame skozi gozdno postenje in osamo, je postajala vse močnejša in vse bolj je potrebovala svoje pogoje, da se ohranja. V gozdu, kjer se mi vse daje in od mene noče ničesar, se tako naravno odprem življenju kot cvet soncu. V človeškem svetu in hrupnih sledeh njegovega delovanja, se naravno zaprem kot srna, ki zbeži ob srečanju s človekom. Dokler nisem izkusila veličine te osvobojenosti, sem vzdušje človeškega sveta čutila kot nek pokrov, ki mi ne dovoli razcveta, nikoli dovolj jasnega, da bi ga lahko poimenovala. A zdaj, ko sem si skozi tišino in osamo nabrala dovolj trenutkov svobode izpod njegovega jarma, je postal otipljiv in nadležen.

S tem je podobno kot z doživetjem zares odlične glasbe… slaba te nikdar več ne zadovolji. Tako me je minilo vse, kar sem prej še tako rada in zagnano počela, vse se mi je zdelo nevredno moje pozornosti. Moje delo, moji hobiji, moji odnosi, moje misli, moje navade.. vse brez življenjske vrednosti!

Z vsakim dnem po koncu odmika sem bolj spoznavala, kaj se mi je zares zgodilo. Šele zdaj sem bila zares pred pravo preizkušnjo. 11 dni brez hrane se je morda zdelo veliko, toda v primeri s postom, kakršnem me je čakal zdaj, ni bilo primerjave. Znašla sem se v še veliko večjem vakumu kot pred njim… sebe, kakršna sem bila, nisem mogla več živeti.

Drobtinice iz gozdnega odmika // Flashes from the forest retreat:

7 Življenjsko vodstvo // Life guidance

9 Kaj bi naredilo Sonce? // What would the Sun do?


A flash from a forest retreat – Fast from yourself


The clarity that began to creep into me through forest fasting and solitude was getting stronger and stronger and more and more it needed its conditions to be maintained. In the forest, where everything is given to me and nothing is wanted from me, I open myself to life as naturally as a flower to the sun. In the human world and the noisy traces of its operation, I naturally shut myself up like a deer that escapes when it meets a human. Until I experienced the magnitude of this liberation, I felt the atmosphere of the human world like some kind of cover that doesn’t allow me to flourish, never clear enough to be able to name it. But now that I had accumulated enough moments of freedom through the silence and solitude, he became palpable and annoying.

It’s like experiencing really great music… bad never satisfies you again. So everything that I used to love, vanished into thin air, everything seemed unworthy of my attention. My work, my hobbies, my relationships, my thoughts, my habits… all without life value!

With each day after the end of the retreat, I became more aware of what really happened to me. It was only now that I was really facing the real test. 11 days without food may have seemed like a lot, but in the case of fasting as it awaited me now, there was no comparison. I found myself in a much bigger vacuum than before… I couldn’t live the way I was.

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