Petnajst let zgodnje odraslosti sem posvetila prisluškovanju gozdovom po celem svetu. Mislila sem, da je tri metre debela Sekvoja v avstralskem Cainsu odraslo drevo. Bilo je gotovo največje drevo, kar sem jih videla. Njene korenine, ovijajoče se okrog debla, so bile kot narejene za plezanje nanjo. Visoko v njeni krošnji sem si našla udobno zavetje.
Tik pred potovanjem sem si celila ‘rane’ v snežniškem gozdu (poglej si Drobtinice iz odmika). Postni odmik me je preobrazil tako temeljito, da sem, ne da bi vedela, ‘razumela’ govorico dreves. Ko sem tako mesec dni kasneje sedela na tej veličastni lepotici, me je njena zgodba tako zadela, da si še danes nisem opomogla. Spregovorila je o tem, kaj sem ji naredila… .
Spomnila me je, da sva bili nekoč prijateljici. Da sem pod njenim pra-pra-prednikom, ki jo je v velikosti stokrat presegal, s celotnim ljudstvom našla zatočišče. Spomnila me je, da me je vloga ljubljene kraljice, kateri je vse hotelo služiti, začela dolgočasiti. Obvladovanje elementov in bitij narave mi ni več prinašalo veselja. Hotela sem imeti zasluge v popolnosti življenja.
Tako sem začela ‘raziskovati’. Zanimalo me je, kako ta svet deluje, da bi se lahko postavila ob Njegov bok in Ga posnemala. Svoje napore sem začela usmerjati v opazovanje reči in kako delujejo. Za vsako reč in njen najmanjši del sem našla ime in ji pripisala pomen. Iz dolgčasa nad popolnostjo in nad lahkostjo bivanja v Raju, sem začela Celoto trgati na kosce in s časom popolnoma pozabila na duha Enosti, ki vse drži skupaj. Vse sem morala pogledati ‘od znotraj’.
Začela sem loviti živali, jih pobijati, jim gledati pod kožo v upanju, da bom ugotovila, kako jih Življenje naredi. Podirala sem drevesa, da bi dokazala, da zmorem tudi jaz narediti svoje ‘stvaritve’. Rila sem po zemlji in iz nje izvlekla vse, kar se je dalo. Kasneje sem iznašla dinamit in jo začela razstreljevati, da sem dobila ven še to, kar se zlepa ni dalo. Skozi tisočletja sem spoznala vse stvari do kvanta in ob tem spregledala, da je za mojim raziskovalnim pohodom izginilo skoraj vsa bitje in žitje Zemlje… in z njo moja živost.
Živali so začele bežati pred menoj, ostanek zelenja me ni mogel več nahraniti. Primorana sem bila hrano vzgajati sama z veliko truda in z vse strašnejšimi stroji. Čustva, pamet in telo sem izgorela v boju za preživetje. Postajalo je vse bolj mraz in vse bolj vroče, ker ni bilo več velikih gmot gozdov, da bi blažila in uravnavala klimo. Vse me je ogrožalo. Moj svetlobni žar ljubezni, svobode in lahkosti bivanja se je skrčil na črno zbito gmoto strahu zase. Svoje telo sem obsodila na bolnost in neobčutljivost. Neustavljivo sem se stradala v podarjenih Lepotah in Močeh.
Zdaj, po 200.000 letih, je plod mojih stvaritev jasno izrisan pred mojimi očmi. Življenjsko obilje sem skrčila na 2%, samo sebe pa pomnožila 8 milijardi-krat. Od teh 2% izgine na deset tisoče živalskih in rastlinskih vrst dnevno. Dnevno pod mojo roko pade za velikost Anglije gozdnih površin. Tisočletna mogočna drevesa so povsem izginila, puščave pa prekrivajo ¾ Zemljine površine. En zemljan na plodnost Zemlje vlije 3,8 ton betona letno (asfalt ni vštet; 2009: Vir) in v zadnjih 70 letih sem razstrelila več kot 2100 atomskih bomb, ki sem jih odvrgla na zemljo staroselcev (2017: Vir).
(Iz vsebine ŠK Zgodba in pesem gozda)
Sledi: Pot mojih stvaritev 3 – Moja ‘znanost’ // Follows: The Path of My Creations 3 – My ‘Science’
The Path of My Creations 2/6 – Sequoia Speaks
I have dedicated fifteen years of early adulthood to eavesdropping on forests around the world. I thought the three-meters-thick Sequoia in Cains, Australia was an adult tree. It was certainly the largest tree I have ever seen. Her roots, wrapping around the trunk, were as if made for climbing on it. High in its canopy, I found a comfortable shelter.
Just before the trip, I was healing my ‘wounds’ in Snežnik (Snowpeak) forest (see Flashes from forest retreat). The fasting forest retreat transformed me so thoroughly that I, without realizing it, ‘understood’ the language of the trees. When I was sitting on this magnificant beauty a month later, her story struck me so much that I still have not recovered today. She talked about what I did to her… .
She reminded me that we were once friends. That under her great-great-ancestor, who was a hundred times her size, I found refuge with the whole people. It reminded me that the role of the beloved queen, whom everyone wanted to serve, began to bore me. Mastering the elements and beings of nature no longer brought me joy. I wanted to have merit in the perfection of life.
So I started ‘researching’. I wondered how this world works so that I could stand by His side and imitate Him. I began to focus my efforts on observing things and how they work. For each thing and its smallest part, I found a name and attached meaning to it. Out of boredom over the perfection and the ease of living in Paradise, I began to tear the Whole to pieces and in time completely forgot about the spirit of Oneness that holds it all together. I had to look at everything ‘from the inside’.
I started hunting animals, killing them, looking under their skin in hopes of figuring out how Life makes them. I felled trees to prove that I too can make my own ‘creations’. I rummaged through the ground and pulled out everything I could. Later, I invented dynamite and started blowing it up to get out what wasn’t easily given. Over the millennia, I have come to know all things down to the quantum, and at the same time I have overlooked that almost all the beings and life of the Earth have disappeared by my research journey… and with it my liveliness.
The animals began to run away from me, the rest of the greenery could no longer feed me. I was forced to grow food on my own with a lot of effort and with increasingly scary machines. I burned my emotions, mind, and body in the struggle for survival. It was getting colder and hotter because there were no more large masses of forests to mitigate and regulate the climate. Everything was threatening me. My light glow of love, freedom, and ease of being shrank into a black compressed mass of fear for myself. I condemned my body to sickness and insensitivity. I was starving unstoppably in the gifted Beauties and Powers.
Now, after 200,000 years, the fruit of my creations is clearly drawn before my eyes. I reduced abundance of Life to 2% and multiplied myself 8 billion times. Of these 2%, tens of thousands of animal and plant species disappear daily. I cut down forest areas for the size of England daily. The millennial mighty trees have completely disappeared, and the deserts cover ¾ of the Earth’s surface. One Earthling pours 3.8 tons of concrete on the Earth’s fertility per year (asphalt not included; 2009: Source) and I have detonated more than 2,100 nuclear bombs in the last 70 years. dumped on the land of the natives (2017: Source).
(From the content of Study circe (in Slovene only) The story and song of the forest)
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