Ko hodim po svetu in opazujem ljudi, naravo, vreme… in se spomnim, da sem tako hodila in opazovala ljudi, naravo in vreme pred tisoč leti in od samega začetka mene. Vživljam se v vse čase, kot bi bila prvi in zadnji človek in vsi vmes. Bila sem moški in ženska, bila sem arijka in črnka, Eskimka in Bušmanka, poznam zgodbo vsakega zemljana in vseh skupaj. Poznam vse kotičke zemlje v vsakem času, poznam gore in gozdove, stepe in morja in njihove zgodbe od začetka do konca.
Poznam vzdih občudovanja barvitosti življenja in poznam hladno neobčutljivost ropanja osebnega dostojanstva in zemeljskih lepot. Poznam sočen vonj džungelskega pragozda in suh vonj puščav. Bila sem kraljica in bila sem sužnja. Imela sem vse in imela nisem ničesar. Bila sem ljubljena in sem ljubila. Sovražila sem in bila osovražena. Ubijala sem in bila ubita. Bila sem svobodna in bila sem jetnica. Bila sem prostitutka in bila sem svetnica.
Sanjala in živela sem vse sanje in doživela vse zmote. Poznam napuh svojih spoznanj in poznam svobodo čiste misli. Poznam vse odtenke dušnih bolečin, bila sem zasmehovana, prezirana, moralno trpinčena, neštetokrat sem pokopala svojega otroka. In poznam radost in blaženost čiste zavesti, poznam božji dotik, njegovo vsemogočnost in poznam tolažbo svetega miru ob zadnjem dihu. Znane so mi vse telesne muke, poznam vse bolezni in njihove vzroke, umrla sem vseh smrti in v vseh starosti, bila sem zaklana kot dojenčica, bomba mi je odnesla noge kot otroku, strela me je udarila, visela sem z vislic, bila sem zastrupljena, utopljena in pribita na križ. In poznam lahkotnost sijočega zdravja, poznam zmožnosti duhovno-telesne mojstrovine, ki se ni pozabila v svoji božanskosti.
Poznam zgodbo zemlje in njenih gozdov. Njihova zgodba mi poje neprekinjeno žalostinko od prvega brezbrižnega dotika, s katerim sem posegla vanj. Poznam lahkost bivanja v nekdanjih pragozdovih Sibirije, Evrope, Amerike, Afrike, Azije in Avstralije. Poznam okuse vseh sadežev, ki so mi padala naravnost v dlan. Poznam občutek ljubljenosti, ki mi ga je nudila neomadeževana plodnost gozdov in krotkost živali. Poznam vsa bitja, ki so naseljevala zemljo ob mojem prvem koraku in poznam občutek domačnosti, v katerem so mi živali služile kot kraljici. Vse okoli mi je streglo in v zameno želelo le ljubeče pozornosti. Veter je zapihal, kadar sem si ga zaželela in dež je padel, kadar sem ga potrebovala. Drevesa so spustila veje, če sem potrebovala zatočišče in gozd je fluorescentno zažarel, kadar sem stopala skozenj ponoči. Nikdar me ni zeblo, nisem poznala neurij, povodenj in toč.
Bila sem lepa kot boginja brez vsakega truda. Podobna liliji, neudomačeni lepoti, ki za seboj pušča vonj omamnega etra… česarkoli sem se dotaknila z mislijo, pogledom ali dotikom, je obrodilo, zacvetelo, zadišalo in obogatilo že tako čudovite danosti življenja. Razumela sem govorico življenja brez učenja, brez govorjenja, brez osvajanja znanja.
Sedela sem visoko na dva-tisoč let mladi sekvoji in v podobah sledila njeni zgodbi. V ptičjem žvrgolenju sem brala zven božjega duha. Tekla sem z volkovi in živela svobodo. Bila sem utelešena univerzalnost, ki je v sebi zbrala in presegla vse druge zemeljske stvaritve. Imela sem vse. (Iz vsebine ŠK Zgodba in pesem gozda)
The Path of My Creations 1/6 – The Law of Oneness in Practice
When I walk around the world like that and observe people, nature, weather… and I remember walking and observing people, nature and weather like that a thousand years ago and from the very beginning of me. I empathize with all times as if I were the first and last person and everyone in between. I was a man and a woman, I was an Aryan and a black woman, an Eskimo and a Bushman, I know the story of every earthling and everyone together. I know all corners of the earth at all times, I know mountains and forests, steppes and seas and their stories from beginning to end.
I know the sigh of admiration for the colorfulness of life and I know the cold insensitivity of plundering personal dignity and earthly beauties. I know the juicy smell of the jungle primeval forest and the dry smell of the desert. I was a queen and I was a slave. I had everything and I had nothing. I was loved and I loved. I hated and was hated. I killed and was killed. I was free and I was a prisoner. I was a prostitute and I was a saint.
I dreamed and lived all dreams and experienced all mistakes. I know the vanity of my knowledge and I know the freedom of pure thought. I know all the nuances of mental pain, I was ridiculed, despised, morally tortured, I buried my child countless times. And I know the joy and bliss of pure consciousness, I know God’s touch, his omnipotence, and I know the consolation of holy peace at the last breath. I know all the torments of the body, I know all the diseases and their causes, I died all deaths and at all ages, I was slaughtered as an infant, a bomb took my legs whenI was a kid, lightning struck me, I hung from the gallows, I was poisoned, drowned and nailed to a cross. And I know the lightness of radiant health, I know the abilities of a spiritual-physical masterpiece that has not forgotten its divinity.
I know the story of the earth and its forests. Their story sings to me a continuous mourning from the first carefree touch I intervened with. I know the ease of living in the former rainforests of Siberia, Europe, America, Africa, Asia and Australia. I know the flavors of all the fruits that fell straight into my palm. I know the feeling of love offered to me by the immaculate fertility of the forests and the meekness of the animals. I know all the creatures that inhabited the earth at my first step, and I know the sense of homeliness in which animals served me as queens. Everything around me served me and in return only wanted a loving attention. The wind blew when I wanted it and the rain fell when I needed it. The trees dropped branches if I needed shelter and the forest glowed fluorescently as I stepped through it at night. I never got cold, I didn’t know storms, floods and hail.
I was beautiful as a goddess without any effort. Like a lily, an un-domesticated beauty that leaves behind the scent of intoxicating ether… whatever I touched with a thought, a look or a touch bore fruit, blossomed, smelled and enriched the already wonderful givens of life. I understood the language of life without learning, without speaking, without acquiring knowledge.
I sat high on a two-thousand-year-old redwood and followed her story in images. In the chirping of birds I read the sound of the spirit of God. I ran with wolves and lived freedom. I was an embodied universality that gathered and transcended all other earthly creations. I had it all. (From the content of Study circle The story and the song of the Forest – In Slovene olny)
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