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Morda sem za enkrat še redkost, ko v naučenem znanju, spretnostih in veščinah, vidim pridih nenaravnosti, nečesa, kar mi ni nujno treba. Priznam, da sem tudi sama imela bitko z opuščanjem vedenjskega balasta, ki ga je name naprtila mentaliteta tega sveta, oz. sem si jo naprtila sama. Dalo bi se polemizirati, ali je meditacija samonikla ali naučena, rekla bi, odvisno, kaj razumeš pod to besedo.
Če ne bi pretežni del odraslega življenja, imela zgled pristne naravnosti v nekom, ki naj ga imenujem ‘učitelj’ in je bolj živ kot vsi, ki jih poznam skupaj, pa ni enkrat sedel križem nog in križem oči, ni bil enkrat bolan, ni enkrat zapadel v obup, betežnost, pa verjemite, je imel več razlogov za to, kot bi živ lahko zdravo prenesel, bi tudi sama ne verjela, da je biti Živ nekaj, kar si, ne nekaj, kar počneš ali znaš.
Ljudje smo s svojim doumevanjem sebe tako oddaljeni od živosti, da določene tehnike in veščine, celo substance, gotovo pomagajo zrahljati primež uma, da se sprosti v čisto bivanje. Globoko in počasno dihanje, ob zavesti, kdo ta dih omogoča, med njimi morda seže najvišje. A ta ‘učitelj’ živi tako naravno živost, da njegovo telo diha počasi in globoko preprosto zato, ker je globoka in umirjena njegova energija, njegova zavest, ki je plod popolne prepustitve Volji Življenja.
Tak je že prišel na ta svet in imel nekaj, česar mi nimamo: prvih sedem let je bil prepuščen sam sebi in bil s tem obvarovan pritiska nesamostojne mentalitete tega sveta. Rano otroštvo je preživel sam v pohajanju po gozdu. Na babičinem šporgetu, ni bil pri starših, pa ga je čakala čorba, po kateri je segel, kadar je postal lačen. To je bilo dovolj, da je ostal Živ za zmeraj.
Enkrat ni telesno obmiroval, od kar ga poznam, razen, da je veliko pisal, a nikdar ni meditiral in zavestno upravljal svoj dih in lego oči. Deležen ni bil enega tečaja ali duhovne delavnice, ni imel učitelja, razen Življenja samega, ki ga čuti in komunicira z njim od samega vstopa v to raven in imam zgled, kaj to pomeni v praksi. Šele z leti sem znala ceniti tega, po zenovsko pronicljivega možakarja, ki je ostajal osamljen in pokončen na svojih višavah.
Razumete zdaj, kaj zame pomeni pojem biti naraven, ko sem imela in še imam priložnost doživljati Živega človeka, ki poka od smeha ob vseh poskusih doseči Boga s takim ali drugačnim naravnavanjem in urjenjem telesa. Večkrat se ustrašim za njegovo zdravje, ker se davi od smeha, ko med gozdnimi vandranji naletiva na kakšnega tekača.
S tem ne pravim, da sem tudi sama že tam. Četudi me sedenje po turško in zrenje v 3. oko ta hipi še vabi, ne pozabljam, da Vez z Bogom ni vezana na položaj in spretnost telesa in jo morem čutiti ves čas, ne glede na to, kaj telo počne. To je zame resnična meditacija. Pride čas, zdaj zdaj bo tu, ko bodo odpadle vse bergle, dobesedno, izgubila bom to telo in dih. Na kaj se lahko naslonim takrat, da ostajam v Bogu?
Upam, da je to komu v pomoč. Tudi artikulacija neubesedljivega je veščost, nepotrebna v komunikaciji Bog-Bog, pa jo vseeno uporabljam. Isto. Vse to so samo pomagala, ki so potrebna le, dokler duhovno ne shodimo. Potem se poučevanje in duhovne tehnike končajo. Nekateri jih nikdar ne rabijo.
Toliko iz trenutnega navdiha, ostajajte sijajni in ognjeviti še naprej, Marjeta
Naturally Alive
I dedicate this note to all of you who respond in one way or another to Hosta’s posts, without you this page is as good as dead. Thank you for your courage, and for your co-creation, which you always ennoble with your comments, while at the same time inspiring me for new outpourings.
Maybe I’m a rarity when I see a touch of unnaturalness in the knowledge, skills, and abilities I’ve learned, something I don’t necessarily need. I admit that I myself had a battle with letting go of the behavioral ballast that the addictive mentality of this world put on me, or I put it on myself. It could be argued whether meditation is spontaneous or learned, I would say, it depends on what you understand by that word.
If it weren’t for the overwhelming part of adult life, I would have had an example of genuine naturalness in someone whom I should call ‘teacher’ and who is more alive than everyone I know combined, and who never once sat cross-legged and crossed-eyed, never once was sick, never once fell into despair,, and believe me, he had more reasons for it than a living person could sanely endure, I myself would not believe that being Alive is something you are, not something you do or know.
With our understanding of ourselves, people are so far from aliveness that certain techniques and skills, even substances, certainly help to loosen the grip of the mind so that it can be released into pure being. Breathing deeply and slowly, with awareness of who is making this breath possible, may reach the highest of them all. But this ‘teacher’ lives so naturally that his body breathes slowly and deeply simply because his energy, his consciousness is very deep and calm, which is the fruit of complete surrender to the Will of Life.
He had already come in such a way into this world and had something that we do not have: for the first seven years he was left to himself and was thus protected from the pressure of the independent mentality of this world. He spent his early childhood alone in the woods. At grandma’s wood-burning stove, he wasn’t with his parents, there was soup waiting for him, which he reached for when he got hungry. That was enough to keep him Alive forever.
He was never once physically still that I know of him, except that he wrote a lot, but he never meditated and consciously controlled his breath and the position of his eyes. He did not attend one course or spiritual workshop, he did not have a teacher, except for Life itself, who felt and communicated with him from the moment he entered this level, and I have an example of what this means in practice.
It was only over the years that I came to appreciate this Zen-like perceptive man who remained solitary and upright in his heights. You understand now what the concept of being natural means to me when I had and still have the opportunity to experience a Living Man who bursts with laughter at all attempts to reach God through one or another attitude and training of the body. Several times I feared for his health because he choked with laughter when we came across a runner during our walks in the forest.
I’m not saying that I’m already there myself. Even if sitting still and gazing into the 3rd eye still invites me, I do not forget that the Connection with God is not tied to the position and skill of the body and I can feel it all the time, regardless of what the body is doing. This is true meditation for me. The time will come, now now, when all the crutches will fall away, literally, I will lose this body and breath. What can I lean on then to remain in God?
I hope this helps someone. Articulating the ineffable is also a skill unnecessary in God-God communication, but I use it anyway. The same. All these are only aids, which are necessary until we remember how to walk spiritually. Then the teaching and spiritual techniques end. Some never need them.
So much for the inspiration of the moment, keep on shining and be fiery Marjeta
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