Pesem gozda 3 – Kaj hoče Življenje od mene

V tretjem delu Pesmi gozda bi rada povabila k popolnem premiku dojemanja; namesto, da od Življenja pričakujem zadovoljevanje mojih potreb, ambicij in kapric, namesto, da sem jaz tista, ki od Življenja zahtevam to in ono…. naravnam svoje zrenje raje v smer: ‘Kaj hoče Življenje od mene?’

Snežniški Gozd mi je nudil 14 dni brisanja starega vase zagledanega programa, ki sem ga podedovala iz okolja, in kljub temu, da sem si nadejala jasnosti o tem, kaj si želim od Življenja, sem dobila jasnost o tem, kaj si On želi od mene. Do takrat sem nase in na svet gledala iz sebe. Od takrat naprej pa se me je začel polaščati nenavadnem občutek, kot da nekdo drug gleda iz mene, nekdo, ki ni od tega sveta.

To, kar me poganja v zapise Pesmi gozda, to najbolj bistveno,

kar vam želim predati, je; da po tem gozdnem odmiku

nisem več gledala iz sebe, sem le še gledala, če razumete!

Največje darilo, ki sem ga kdaj koli prejela!

Mogoče mi ga uspe predati naprej tako, da še koga povabi na to čudovito pot oživljanja duhovnega mrtvila in v razcvet neslutenih razsežnosti, ki so nam prav zdaj na voljo, da jih izberemo kot nove možnosti.

Lahko je biti svoboden, ljubek in pomirjen sredi gozda…, a se vprašam, sem lahko taka tudi znotraj človeškega sveta, ki je zgrajen iz obveznosti, dolžnosti, pravil, zahtev in kazni, če ga ne ubogam. Sem lahko prav tako brezskrbno predana toku Življenja tam, kjer me vse jemlje in preži nad mano?

Preden zabredem v to veliko Umetnost Bivanja, bi bilo dobro izvedeti, kaj Življenje hoče od mene in si potem vsak sam lahko odgovori, ali je Živ lahko tudi v duhovno neobčutljivem ustroju človeškega sveta.

Če bi tukaj za hip postala in vam dovolila, da vam odgovor pride, preden vam povem svojega, kaj vam srce odgovori? To je vprašanje, ki si ga bo moral zastaviti in si nanj odgovoriti vsak, ki hoče ljubiti in Živeti. Ne dajte se prevarati čaru mehanike, ki vam daje misliti, da ste Živi, ker premikate telo. Živi ste samo, če se obnašate tako, kot se obnaša Življenje. Ste našli svoj odgovor na; Kaj hoče Življenje od vas? Dovolj je ena beseda, da odgovorite nanj …………………. .

Vsak dan gozdnega odmika sem bolj slutila, intuitivno vedela, kaj Gozd hoče od mene. Še posebej tisti gozd, ki ga človek še ni docela kultiviral in v svojem zvenu še nosi duha ne-udomačenosti, ne-oskrunjenosti, pravljične skrivnostnosti in malce tudi strašljivosti, ki jo vzbuja neukročeno Življenje…, tak gozd je gotovo najboljši približek Božanskega na Zemlji, in človek v njem je bolj kot sebi podoben divji živali, ljubek in mogočen obenem, nepredvidljiv in ne-invazivno prisoten.

V tej gozdni živosti, v kateri je vsak moj energijski premik zaznan,

nisem mogla drugače kot biti cela v Njej.

Danes vem, da Celovitost Bivanja celi, zdravi,

da ni Višjega zdravila kot je Celovito bivanje.

Zdelo se je, da se bivanje brez misli naravno uglasi na gozdno vibracijo in me vpne nase, s tem pa na Tiho znanje Življenja (Gyana), ki ga pooseblja vsa narava. Nisem bila človek v gozdu, bila sem le še del gozda.

Nihče pri zdravi pameti ne bo hotel to zapustiti in zabarantati za jekleno betonsko džunglo prisil in zahtev. Vseeno pa vam vse to pravim iz jekleno betonske džungle, zato nisem pri zdravi pameti, priznam. Trga sem mi že dolgo, ko obenem vem, da se mi ne sme do konca strgati. Morda bi mi bilo lažje, če te osvobojenosti ne bi nikdar doživela? Kdo ve?

Tako kot me je resničen človek, ki me le nekaj tednov po tem odmiku,

na prvih korakih po Avstraliji ‘okvaril’ in mi sam s seboj

postavil vrtoglavo visoka merila o kvalitetnem človeku,

tako me ni moglo nič več ganiti, kar v sebi ni nosilo

te konotacije naravnosti in svobode.

Zaradi osvobojenosti od zadev vsakdana, sem vse bolj otipljivo doživljala lastno energijsko podobo, moj resničen obraz, ki je bil vse prej kot lahko prebavljiv uvid! Kot v milnih mehurčkih sem gledala podobe svojega podružbljenega obraza in v njem odsev okolja, njegova pričakovanja, želje in odpore. Prepoznavala sem množico odtisov, ki so se od zunaj prilepili na mojo naravnost in odpadali kot posušene kraste, kakor hitro sem jih prepoznala za to, kar so.

Zame je bilo to nekaj velikega, spoznati, da je moja pozornost tista,

ki vzdržuje neko miselno strukturo živo. Že samo dejstvo,

da se mi neka misel pojavi, sporoča, da nisem prisotna, da ne bivam,

vseeno, kakšna je. A v tišini, ki je kot jasno nebo, sem vsako misel

kot oblak, takoj opazila, prepoznala in ga, ravno s prepoznanjem,

izničila kot sonce izpari oblak, če posije nanj.

To je moč zavedanja, se mi je posvetilo!

Šele v tej osvobojenosti od neprestanega pogona sem lahko zasledovala samo sebe kot lovka na plen in do petega dne odmika vse utvare o sebi in svetu pospravila na hladno kot zajce v kletko. S svojo pozornostjo sem kot z žarkom svetlobe lovila vsako misel, ki se je hotela vriniti med meno in bivanje in v istem hipu, ko sem jo opazila, je izgubila moč nad mano.

Kaj hoče gozd od mene? Ste si odgovorili na to vprašanje? Ljudje smo naučeni jemalci, lakotniki, sestradanci, grabežljivci, nenasitneži…, ne moremo si niti predstavljati temeljne narave Živih, ki je dajalna.

Gozd od mene noče ničesar! To je tisto, čisto ničesar noče od mene!

Hoče samo to, da bi se mi dajal v svojem obilju!

Komu bodo ptice žvrgolele, če ne meni-človeku, ki edina od vseh bitij morem občudovati njihovo petje? Komu bodo drevesa dajala svoj žar zavesti, če ne meni-človeku, ki sem mu najbolj sorodno bitje na Zemlji? Še nobena veverica se, iz občudovanja, ni zaustavila v svojem gonskem življenju, ko so iz tal pridišale ciklame. Nobena srna se ni zazrla v ognjen sončni zahod in vzdihovala nad Življenjskimi Lepotami…., ki jih lahko občudujejo le prebujene človekove oči.

Kljub temu, da živali ne cenijo božanskih lepot, so bolj hvaležne kot človek s tem, da ostajajo naravne in v območju Življenjsko dovoljenega. Zato je modro in ljubeče spustiti družben obraz, da izzveni v pozabo in sleči prisilni jopič sistemskih pravil. Še vedno sem v ječarskem svetu, ki od mene hoče denar, čas, pozornost in telo…, a se mu odtegujem z nego notranjega Miru, kajti ves ta sistem je tu zato, da me nervira in me meče iz območja Življenja, iz katerega nato vlečem temne poteze in to je tisto, kar me resnično potegne v globel…, ne družbena ureditev sama po sebi. Če pa vem, da me Mir povezuje z Življenjsko modrostjo, potem me tudi dejanska ječa ne more odtegniti od njega.

Mir je nekaj, kar izgradim v sebi z redno nego in veščostjo.

Vsaka sekunda miselnega miru, ki ga privoščim telesu,

je širša in čvrstejša povezovalna vez z Življenjem, ki je Čisti Mir.

Kadar Življenjskemu dogajanju prisostvujem iz Miru, zapazim, kaj dela iz svoje Popolnosti in neizmerljive Inteligence. Mir me naredi pozorno na Njegove namige, opozorila, napotila, pouk, vodstvo in darove, kajti Življenje vedno vodi k Sebi, zato, če ga spregledam, zablodim ravno v nasprotno smer, kamor pa nočem za nobeno ceno.

Življenje me hoče čisto, oprano miselnih zablod samo zato,

da bi me lahko dosegel in me s Seboj Oživel.

Hoče, da Ga spoznam in Mu zaupam, samo zato, da bi me

ponovno vpel nase in me s tem rešil samovoljne ločenosti od Njega.

Daljše zadrževanje v gozdu, ki mora biti samotno in tiho, ne-prestrašeno in zaupljivo, je najbolj spregledano zdravilo za splošno človekovo bolezen, iz katere izhajajo vse druge bolezni, okvare, poškodbe in zmote – za samo-pozabljenje.

Ko boste po nekaj dneh samote, tišine in postenja energijsko slečeni stali pred nezmotljivim očesom notranje tišine, morda v podpori kakega še redkega drevesnega orjaka, in ko vas bo mirila ljubka narava, takrat boste pripravljeni umreti v svoji zlaganosti in se radostni odprli za Njegov začetek v vas. Zdaj ste tu, na točki spoznanja, da sami sebi niste dovolj in se ozirate za izgubljeno celovitostjo, ki vam kot čukov skovik odmeva v globini. Prišli ste na pravo mesto, če na kolenih objemate stari hrast ali vitko brezo in v odpadlem listju vidite koščke raztrgane duše. Zavalite se vanj spet in spet in za vsak povaljan list izpovejte hvaležnost, kajti našli ste izgubljeno razcefranost, ki jo vaše zahvaljenje znova lepi skupaj.

Če odgovorim zdaj na prvotno vprašanje, ali sem lahko Živa v duhovno otopelem in nenasitnem svetu? Ali lahko le dajem tam, kjer me vse jemlje? Ali lahko zaupam tam, kjer je vse zlagano? Lahko ljubim neobčutljivo? Sem lahko svobodna v ječi?

V prejšnji Pesmi gozda sem delila spoznanje, da je svoboda v celoti v mojih rokah, to je Velika Pravičnost Življenja. Samo-spoznanje ni drugega kot uvid, da sem že vse to, kar naj bi šele postala. Sem otrok Življenja, zato sem že Živa, le spomniti se moram tega in opraviti vsak napor, da se očistim misli, ki mi prigovarja drugače. To pa naredim tako, da negujem notranjo tišino iz hipa v hip, in zdaj, in zdaj in kar naprej in ves čas in non-stop.

V notranji tišini je vse, kar potrebujem, kajti notranja tišina

je frekvenca Življenja in se naravno priklopi na Življenjsko vibracijo

in me s tem Oživi kot po vnovično zaceljeni energijski popkovini z Virom.

Zdaj sem znova Živa, sem Polnina iz Polnine, zadovoljena v vsakem, oziru in absolutno samostojna. Vse, kar mi preostane iz tega položaja, je razdajanje iz notranjega obilja.

Vi mi ne morete dati ničesar, kar sama že nimam. Vi me ne morete dopolniti, biti moja polovica, drugi del moje celovitosti, me kakorkoli obogatiti, četudi ste že dospeli do lastnih Polnin…, niti jaz vas. Vse, kar nama preostane je pomnoževanje Lepot skozi skupno ustvarjanje, je dodati jagodo na zvrhano smetano notranjih Lepot, ki skozi sodelovanje iščejo pot v uresničitev.

Sijte in ostajajte sijajni, Marjeta Šumrada


Song of the Forest 3 – What does Life want from me?

In the third part, Songs of the Forest, I would like to invite a complete shift in perception; instead of expecting Life to satisfy my needs, ambitions, and whims, instead of me being the one who demands this and that from Life…, I direct my vision in the direction of: ‘What does Life want from me?’

Snežniški Forest offered me 14 days to erase the old self-absorbed program that I inherited from the environment, and despite the fact that I was hoping for clarity about what I want from Life, I got clarity about what It (or He or Šhe) wants from me. Until then, I looked at myself and the world from my little perspective. From then on, I began to have a strange feeling, as if someone else was looking out of me, someone not of this world.

What drives me to record Songs of the Forest, the most essential,

what I want to convey to you is; that after this forest retreat

I wasn’t looking out of myself anymore, I was just looking,

if you understand! The greatest gift I have ever received!

Maybe I can pass it on by inviting someone else to this wonderful journey of reviving spiritual deadness and into the flowering of unimagined dimensions that are right now available to us to choose as new possibilities.

It’s easy to be free, lovely, and calm in the middle of the forest…, but I wonder if I can be like that inside the human world, which is built of obligations, duties, rules, demands, and punishments if I don’t obey it. Can I be just as carelessly surrendered to the flow of Life, where everything takes me and hovers over me?

Before I wander into this great Art of Being, it would be good to find out what Life wants from me, and then everyone can answer for themselves whether Lifefulness can also be in the spiritually insensitive structure of the human world.

If I were to stand here for a moment and let the answer come to you before I tell you mine, what does your heart say? This is a question that everyone who wants to love and Live will have to ask themselves and answer. Don’t be fooled by the magic of mechanics that makes you think you are Alive because you are moving your body. You are only Alive if you behave as Life behaves. Did you find your answer to; What does Life want from you? One word is enough to answer it. ……… .

Every day of the forest retreat, I had a better sense, intuitive knowing what the Forest wanted from me. Especially that forest that has not yet been fully cultivated by man and still carries in its sound the spirit of non-domestication, non-desecration, fairy-tale mystery, and a little bit of fierceness, which is evoked by untamed Life…, such a forest is certainly the best approximation of the Divine on Earth, and man in it is more like a wild animal than himself, lovely and powerful at the same time, unpredictable and non-invasively present.

In this forest liveliness, in which my every energy shift is detected,

I couldn’t help but be whole in Her. Today I know that

Wholeness of Being heals, makes it whole,

that there is no Higher Medicine than Holistic Being.

Being mindless seemed to naturally tune into the vibration of the forest and connect me to itself, and thus to the Silent knowledge of Life (Gyana) embodied in all of nature. I was not a (wo)man in the forest, I was just another part of the forest.

No one in their right mind will want to leave it and barter it for a steel concrete jungle of compulsions and demands. However, I’m telling you all this from a steel-concrete jungle, so I’m not sane, I admit. I’ve had it for a long time, but at the same time, I know that I shouldn’t completely lose it. Maybe it would be easier for me if I never experienced this liberation? Who knows?

Just like the real man who, just a few weeks after this retreat,

on the first steps around Australia, he ‘broke me down

and set dizzyingly high standards for a qualitative person, so I could

no longer be moved by anything that did not carry within itself

these connotations of naturalness and freedom.

Due to my freedom from everyday matters, I experienced my own energetic image, my true face, which was anything but an easy-to-digest insight! As if in soap bubbles, I looked at images of my socialized face and in it the reflection of the environment, its expectations, desires, and resistances. I recognized a multitude of prints that stuck to my naturalness from the outside and fell off like dried scabs as soon as I recognized them for what they were.

That was a big thing for me, to realize that my attention is

what keeps some mental structure alive.

Just the fact that thought appears to me, it tells me

that I am not present, that I am not staying, no matter what it is.

But in the silence, which is like a clear sky, I immediately noticed

every thought like a cloud,, I recognized it and, precisely by

recognizing it, nullifies as the sun evaporates a cloud if it shines on it.

This is the power of awareness, it dawned on me!

It was only in this freedom from a constant drive that I was able to pursue myself like a hunter of prey, and by the fifth day of the retreat, I put away all illusions about myself and the world in the cold like rabbits in a cage. With my attention, like a ray of light, I chased every thought that wanted to come between me and being, and in the moment I noticed it, it lost its power over me.

What does the forest want from me? Did you answer this question? Humans are trained takers, hungry, starving, predatory, and insatiable…, we cannot even imagine the basic nature of the Living, which is giving.

The forest doesn’t want anything from me! That’s it, it doesn’t want anything from me!

It just wants to give itself to me in its abundance!

To whom will the birds chirp, if not to me-man, who alone of all creatures can admire their singing? To whom will the trees give their embers of consciousness, if not to me-man, to whom I am the most related being on Earth? No squirrel has yet stopped in its driving life, out of admiration, when the smell of cyclamen rose from the ground. No doe gazed into the fiery sunset and sighed at the Beauties of Life…., which can only be admired by awakened human eyes.

Despite the fact that animals do not appreciate the divine beauties, they are more grateful than man by remaining natural and in the area of Life’s Permissibility. Therefore, it is wise and loving to let the social face fade into oblivion and take off the straitjacket of systemic rules. I’m still in a prison world that wants money, time, attention, and body from me…, but I distract myself from it by nurturing my inner peace, because this whole system is here to annoy me and throw me out of the area of Life, from which I then draw dark strokes and that’s what really pulls me into the deep…, not the social order per se. But if I know that Peace connects me to the Wisdom of Life, then even an actual prison cannot tear me away from it.

Peace is something I build within myself with regular care and skill. Every second of mental peace I give my body is a wider and stronger connecting bond with Life, which is Pure Peace.

When I attend Life’s happening from Peace, I notice what He does from its Perfection and immeasurable Intelligence. Peace makes me attentive to His hints, warnings, directions, lessons, guidance, and gifts because Life always leads to Himself, so if I miss it, I am wandering in the opposite direction, where I do not want to go at any cost.

Life wants me clean, washed of mental delusions just because

so that He could reach me and revive me with Himself.

He wants me to know Him and trust Him, just to make me reattached

to Himself and thereby saved me from arbitrary separation from Him.

A prolonged stay in the forest, which must be solitary and silent, un-frightened and trusting, is the most overlooked remedy for the general human disease from which all other diseases, defects, injuries, and errors arise – for self-forgetfulness.

When, after a few days of solitude, silence, and fasting, you will stand energetically undressed before the unerring eye of inner silence, perhaps with the support of some still rare tree giant, and when you will be soothed by the lovely nature, then you will be ready to die in your deception and joyfully open to His beginning in you.

Now you are here, at the point of realizing that you are not enough for yourself, and you are looking for the lost wholeness that echoes in the depths like a cuckoo’s call. You have come to the right place if you are hugging an old oak or a slender birch on your knees and you see pieces of a torn soul in the fallen leaves. Lean into it again and again and express gratitude for each unrolled leaf, for you have found a lost decipherment that your thankfulness glues back together.

If I now answer the original question, can I be Alive in a spiritually numb and insatiable world? Can I just give where everything takes? Can I trust where everything is stacked? Can I love insensitive? Can I be free in the prison?

In the previous Song of the Forest, I shared the knowledge that freedom is entirely in my hands, that is the Great Justice of Life. Self-realization is nothing but the insight that I am already all that I am yet to become. I am a child of Life, therefore I am already Alive, I just have to remember this and make every effort to cleanse myself of the thoughts that tell me otherwise.

I do this by cultivating inner silence from moment to moment, and now, and now and on and on all the time and non-stop. The inner silence is all I need because the inner silence is the frequency of Life and naturally connects to the vibration of Life and thereby Reviving me after a re-healed energetic umbilical cord with the Source.

Now I am alive again, I am the Fullness of the Fullness, satisfied in every respect and absolutely independent. All that is left for me from this position is to give out from inner abundance.

You can’t give me anything I don’t already have. You cannot complete me, be my half, the other part of my wholeness, enrich me in any way, even if you have already reached your own Fullness…, nor can I you. All that is left for us is to multiply the Beauties through joint creation, to add a strawberry to the cream of internal Beauties, which through cooperation are looking for a way to realization.

Shine and stay brilliant, Marjeta Šumrada

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