Obredno obnašanje je čvrsto vdelano v 9 ali 10 dnevni gozdni odmik. Obrednost pomeni samo to, da smo pač pri stvari… karkoli že počnemo. To vse spremeni! Kvaliteta dajanja naše pozornosti v dani trenutek je zavestna. Kadar smo pri stvari, napake niso možne. Kadar nismo pri stvari, se dogajajo napake. Napaka je trenutek neprisebnosti! Če bi ljudje takoj prejeli udarec teh napak nezavednosti, na zemlji skoraj ne bi bilo preživelih. Nihče ne bi prenesel samega sebe, kakršen v resnici je, ne bi preživel pritiska, ki ga sicer sam izvaja nad Življenjem, če bi mu bilo z enakim povrnjeno. Življenje nas ščiti s Samim seboj, zato si lahko skoraj v nedogled privoščimo nezavedno delovanje, pa še vedno hodimo po dveh nogah.
To vedeti vse spremeni! Računica bo prišla… koliko hvaležnosti se vzdigne v meni vedoč, da sem zavarovana, da sem ljubljena! Neprenehoma in non-stop sem ljubljena z varovalnim ščitom Življenja. Prosim razumite pravkar povedano… prišel bo čas, ko bo življenje odšlo in nas pustilo same. Preden se to zgodi, moram zavestno pogledati vase in ta uvid preživeti. Ne smem se zlomiti, pobegniti ali napadati.
Obredno obnašanje nas nežno ukoreninja v hipno dogajanje. Počasi začnemo zavestno upravljati z našo pozornostjo, da lahko za vsak trenutek vemo, v kaj smo se izlivali, kaj smo negovali, kaj smo podpirali… in obratno, kaj smo zavrnili. Obredno obnašanje nam dovoli tako hitrost delovanja, da se v njem lahko še pravočasno zaustavimo pri nečem, kar bi obžalovali.
Kaj obžalujemo? Na primer… vem, da me red podpira… vseeno pa se prepuščam razpuščenosti, lenobi, izgovorom. Vem, da se bom zatem slabo počutila in spet padla v zanko nerasti… ne napredujem, nisem vsakdan nova… zelo neprijeten občutek, ki vodi v depresijo in obup. Moj dan mora biti stkan iz dobro premišljenih točk pozornosti… katere so to, me uči življenje skozi moje telo… s počutjem, z vestjo, z mirom ali nemirom, z jasnostjo ali zmedenostjo, z radostjo ali krivdo itd..
Iz točke notranje tišine mi je vseeno ali sem dobro ali sem zanič, od tu je oboje enako… vseeno pa delam tako, kot da mi je mar. Rada se dobro počutim, rada sem vesela, rada prepevam in poskakujem, rada sem ustvarjalna, rada sodelujem, delim, se učim. Lahko in moram iti še dlje… rada prenašam naporne ljudi, rada dajem, tudi tistim, ki samo jemljejo, raje tiho požrem krivico kot da jo zahtevam na silo, rada dajem lepa sočna jabolka tistemu, ki mi na glavo stresa gnilobo. Zato se opazujem in neprenehoma učim, kakšno razmišljanje/obnašanje mi to dovoljuje.
Drobtinice iz gozdnega odmika // Flashes from the forest retreat:
2 Točka pozornosti // Point of attention
Ritual behaviour
Ritual behavior is firmly embedded in the 9 or 10 day forest retreat. Ritual just means we’re at it… whatever we’re doing. That changes everything! The quality of giving our attention at a given moment is conscious. When we are in the moment, mistakes are not possible. When we’re not in the moment, mistakes happen. Mistake is a moment of unconsciousness! If people received the blow of these unconscious mistakes immediately, there would be almost no survivors on earth. No one would tolerate himself as he really is, no one would survive the pressure he otherwise exerts on Life, if it were repaid with the same force. Life protects us with the Self, so we can afford to act unconsciously almost indefinitely, and still walk on two legs.
Knowing this changes everything! The bill will come… how much gratitude rises in me knowing that I am insured, that I am loved! I am constantly and non-stop loved by the protective shield of Life. Please understand what has just been said … there will come a time when life will go away and leave us alone. Before that happens, I need to consciously look inside myself and survive that insight. I must not break, run away or attack.
Ritual behavior gently roots us into instantaneous happenings. Slowly we begin to consciously manage our attention so that we can know for each moment what we have been pouring ourselves into, what we have nurtured, what we have supported… and vice versa, what we have rejected. Ritual behavior allows us to act so slowly that we can stop at something in time before we would regret it.
What do we regret? For example… I know that order supports me… but I still indulge in dissoluteness, laziness, excuses. I know that I will feel bad and fall into the trap of non-growing again… I am not progressing, I am not new every day… a very unpleasant feeling that leads to depression and despair. My day must be woven from well-thought-out points of attention… what they are, life teaches me through my body… with feeling, with conscience, with peace or restlessness, with clarity or confusion, with joy or guilt, etc..
From point of inner silence I don’t care if I feel good or bad, from here it’s both the same… but I still act as if I care. I like to feel good, I like to be happy, I like to sing and jump, I like to be creative, I like to collaborate, share, learn. I can and must go even further… I like to tolerate hard people, I like to give, even to those who just take, I prefer to quietly swallow injustice than to force it, I like to give beautiful juicy apples to the one who shakes the rot on my head. So I observe myself and constantly learn what kind of thinking / behavior allows me to do so.
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